So I guess that I suck...

At least that's what I was told today...by Nicki of all people.

It all started when I was down my basement today and ran across this little guy.

He's about three inches across, including the legs. It's one of the hunting spiders that live around here. I find them fascinating but Nicki...well, you know...girls.

Anyway, I took this picture of it so that she could see it and I went back upstairs and left it to it's own agenda. When she came over, I showed her the picture and she immediately started in with: "Oh my God...where did you see THAT?!"

When I told her that it was right downstairs, she really got upset. I mean, it's just a spider, and not one that climbs stairs very well, but she's still like: "Get rid of it! Get it out of here!"

Hell, the poor spider's just trying to catch some pesky bug for dinner. I kind of like having spiders like this around. Anyway, to appease Nicki, I go downstairs and scoop it up in a box. I have the box closed, of course, because these little guys can really jump. I bring it back upstairs and offer to show it to her. She starts freaking out before I can even crack the lid, hollering for me to get it out of the house. I ask her to open the door, and she reluctantly does, but then she hides behind the door, supposedly so that the spider cannot get her. But then I decide to put the spider out front of the house instead, so I take it out the front door and let it go. Off he runs as soon as I turn him loose.

Now with the spider gone, I go back in the house, still holding the box. Nicki is vacuuming my library, and she's not too happy to see me come back in with the box, which I'm now holding with the lid closed, as if the spider is still inside. I tell her that I changed my mind again and want to put it out in the back yard. I agagin ask her if she wants to see it, and she says "Fuck no! Get that thing out of here!"

"OK," I tell her, as I walk to the back door. But then I "trip" over something and drop the box. It lands right up against the back of her legs and pops open.

Before we go any farther, let me tell you that I would never have believed that Nicki could ever jump that high or scream so loud.And I confess that when I saw her start to shake and hyperventilate, I actually felt bad for a few seconds.

But then she began hitting me and cursing me and told me that I suck in about five different languages, and it was just funny again.

I don't really suck, do I? I mean, come on...it was just a little spider...and not even a poisonous one.

Women... Go figure.

On spiders and sissies

So this morning I head into the bathroom, about to indulge in a nice, hot shower. Fortunately for me, I actually look at the shower knobs instead of just reaching out and turning them as I often do, because there is a fair-sized Nursery spider sitting right between the knobs.

By “fair-sized”, I mean that he’s from 2” to 3” long. They get bigger.

Now these spiders have been found in the lair and blogged before, notably here (with picture) and here. I’ve encountered a few others that haven’t been blogged as well, and when I find them, I capture them and release them outside. Small spiders are icky with their webs and such; these larger hunting spiders are just cool.

So silly me, I decided to share my treasure with others before putting it outside.

First I called Lagniappe in. He came bounding into the bathroom as if he was about to be the recipient of a treat, then stopped short when he saw the spider. He also has seen these before, and it shames me to report that this once-fearless police dog backed right out of the bathroom and skedaddled down the hall to parts unknown. He wasn’t having any part of that thing.

Chickenshit.

Then as I was in the kitchen trying to find a cup with a lid to catch it in, Nicki bid me a good morning so I invited her into the bathroom to show her this fascinating creature. Of course I did not tell her what was there because Nicki usually likes surprises. But judging by her scream of “Oh my GOD!!!” and her bout of hyperventilation as she ran back out of the room, I got the impression that she didn’t much care for this one.

Well if you’re not even going to look at it…

So I captured it without too much trouble, and I eventually got Nicki to open the door to the outside for me as I needed both hands to hold the cup with the spider in it and keep the lid on it. I could feel the spider scrabbling around inside the cup, and I knew that if it got away from me now, I’d have a hell of a time catching it again until it calmed down and came back out in the open. As it was, I wasn’t allowed to even bring it out into the hall until Nicki had run all the way back down to the kitchen and barricaded herself in the pantry, no doubt with Lagniappe for company.

Pair of Chickenshits.

I eventually released the spider outdoors and it scampered off. Then I went to calm Nicki.
I probably should not have told her that these spiders are fairly common around here. Now she says that she’s not coming over any more.
I also probably should not have told her that they certainly live in HER house too. She doesn’t live that far away and these creatures are indigenous to the area.

“But I’ve never EVER seen one of those,” she proclaimed. I told her that just because she hasn’t seen them, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a bunch of them lurking in the dark recesses of her garage, basement, attic, and yard. And being nocturnal creatures that only come out in the dark, odds of her never seeing one are pretty good, however that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there in abundance.

When I last saw her this morning, she was calling her realtor. Something about putting her house up for sale.

And I thought that these former Army chicks were supposed to be tough. Alvin York and Audie Murphy would surely not be impressed.

Spider mystery solved

OK, I e-mailed my spider pic to the Spider Studies program at Marshall University in Huntington, WV. I got a very quick answer back from Dr. James Arnold, who told me:

Yours appears to be a small nursery (or fishing) spider and is sitting in the
hunting posture of one. Remotely possible a wolf spider. Both are voracious
insect predators; neither uses webs for prey capture and habitually lurks
awaiting lunch to stroll past, wolf spiders horizontally and more often from
cover.

He also said that they are non-poisonous, although they can give a painful bite if mishandled, and that they are FAST. But I caught this one in a 7-11 coffee cup and I suspect that right now it's outside the house hunting down insects or possibly mice and small neighbor children. But hey--if it's taking out pests, more power to it!

What the HELL is this thing?!

I just captured this spider in my gun room tonight. I walked in and turned on the light and there is was on my bayonet peg board. As you can tell by the holes on the peg board that are 1" apart, it's over 3" across.





Anyone have any idea what it is? I wasn't sure if I could kill it with the fly swatter or if I needed to get the Uzi out of the safe. Even Lagniappe took one look at it and said "Oh HELL no!" as he turned and beat it back down the stairs.

I would have taken more/better pictures but it was starting to move so I had to drop the camera and capture it before it got away into some part of the house where I coulnd't find it. So I trapped it in a 7-11 coffee cup and released it outside.

Someone please tell me that it:
a. wasn't poisonous;
b. doesn't have a lot of kin nearby.